A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize