if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
