Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
