I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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