Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She even gives head with a lisp.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
