tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
