I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
