like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
