You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
