How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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