her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
