my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
