I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
