My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
