when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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