So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
