Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Randomize
