dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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