Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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