just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
