OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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