I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
