did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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