Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
smell my finger.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
