lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
