Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food. http://tfl.nu/cwmk
  Replies (49) Good night (766) Bad night (7109)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs
  Replies (4) Good night (3885) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): 5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here. http://tfl.nu/lbo2
  Replies (11) Good night (1084) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love http://tfl.nu/ef9a
  Replies (5) Good night (1484) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background. http://tfl.nu/q3vc
  Replies (6) Good night (1749) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that. http://tfl.nu/bwbw
  Replies (19) Good night (1696) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands. http://tfl.nu/oa75
  Replies (6) Good night (1495) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I gasped. Both pairs of lips did. http://tfl.nu/2kuf
  Replies (4) Good night (2550) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01
  Replies (2) Good night (1134) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd. http://tfl.nu/1o4y
  Replies (19) Good night (2752) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside. http://tfl.nu/ic5n
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA. http://tfl.nu/53zt
  Replies (4) Good night (1495) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop http://tfl.nu/0zhw
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/f5ud
  Replies (5) Good night (1188) Bad night (386)

Randomize