Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/43yi
  Replies (38) Good night (3129) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice. http://tfl.nu/dx9d
  Replies (16) Good night (4283) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser http://tfl.nu/nnjn
  Replies (3) Good night (2334) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1170) Bad night (3814)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnq5
  Replies (18) Good night (1919) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it. http://tfl.nu/i1s8
  Replies (8) Good night (1621) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/2wq9
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed http://tfl.nu/bw7g
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself. http://tfl.nu/wluz
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid http://tfl.nu/kpi9
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (212)

Randomize