Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list http://tfl.nu/o9vo

Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (2536)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card. http://tfl.nu/3mw9

Replies (66) Good night (1090) Bad night (3289)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday. http://tfl.nu/pumo

Replies (30) Good night (12233) Bad night (986)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle. http://tfl.nu/l8mr

Replies (16) Good night (4925) Bad night (1182)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids. http://tfl.nu/b3me

Replies (9) Good night (4368) Bad night (1464)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz

Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (2160)
Favorite
(618): View more from Illinois

So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl

Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (1203)
Favorite
(289): View more from Ontario

The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0

Replies (7) Good night (1618) Bad night (927)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important. http://tfl.nu/scnm

Replies (3) Good night (1427) Bad night (720)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z

Replies (4) Good night (1545) Bad night (614)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest? http://tfl.nu/jsvy

Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (657)
Favorite
(339): View more from Massachusetts

Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!

(818): View more from California

Were you keeping a list?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(339): Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues! (818): Were you keeping a list? http://tfl.nu/r5wn

Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (491)
Favorite
(909): View more from California

Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql

Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (548)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went. http://tfl.nu/69c2

Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (399)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text http://tfl.nu/1tkt

Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (287)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: