apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Everclear isn't food dammit
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.