Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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  (610): NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS. http://tfl.nu/4d7u
  Replies (17) Good night (697) Bad night (3062)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.

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  (386): According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death. http://tfl.nu/q8lg
  Replies (25) Good night (740) Bad night (6381)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

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  (617): i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/yxee
  Replies (14) Good night (3358) Bad night (1480)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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  (216): She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened http://tfl.nu/r1vr
  Replies (11) Good night (4836) Bad night (1383)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that

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  (289): i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that http://tfl.nu/oz0t
  Replies (5) Good night (799) Bad night (4466)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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  (512): He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone. http://tfl.nu/7h78
  Replies (8) Good night (912) Bad night (3087)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.

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  (724): i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook. http://tfl.nu/t8ot
  Replies (11) Good night (4430) Bad night (974)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO

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  (503): That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal. (1-503): THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO http://tfl.nu/95vh
  Replies (10) Good night (2693) Bad night (603)
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  (707): View more from California

  After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

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  (707): After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing. http://tfl.nu/fnd4
  Replies (10) Good night (580) Bad night (1037)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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  (337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc
  Replies (17) Good night (2386) Bad night (696)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.

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  (443): I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again. http://tfl.nu/sx09
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (341)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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  (904): I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends. http://tfl.nu/6wle
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (318)
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  (753): View more from

  if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.

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  (753): if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad. http://tfl.nu/mg7k
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (357)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (273)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.

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  (646): I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation. http://tfl.nu/yzea
  Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (315)

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