alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
