There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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