Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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