I bet he comes in French.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
