There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize