i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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