And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
