It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
