Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize