nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
