Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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