I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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