It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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