ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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