I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This baby is an asshole
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
