I seem to have left my pride at pride
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
