i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
