i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
They have beer where we have blood.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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