I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
