what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
