please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
