Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
