She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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