i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
