So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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