It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
