Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
false alarm, still single
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