please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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