hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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