He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
