just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
