I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
