I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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