Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
