like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
