Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
God I need to hump something, right now.
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