I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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