Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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