Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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