Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
