We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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