hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
