either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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